Day 45, Phase 2:Changes

This past weekend, Jane and I -- well, mostly I -- played the part of good 'Mehrkins (Bush's pronunciation, not ours) and dumped a large portion of Jane's bonus into the economy. In other words, we went to the local premium outlet mall and bought new clothes.

Now let me say that Jane and I have been the best little penny-pinchers around -- not because we want to, but because we HAVE to (there being two not-so-small children in our life who require expensive child care options). So we've spent very little on ourselves, and our wardrobes have suffered.

Not only did it feel good to practice some recreational consumption, but it felt extraordinarily good to pick out smaller clothing sizes (alas, my bra size hasn't changed). Now that I have some snazzy work outfits I can cull out all those worn items that were barely hanging on to acceptability.

So now our front hall closet is clogged with bags destined for Rosie's Place, Boomerang and Dress for Success (including some clothes my grandmother gave us to donate months ago). Purge, purge, purge...

Day 40, Phase 2:February has gotten the better of me.

So thank goodness it's almost over.

The entire month of February should be stricken from the calendar. Because nothing good ever happens in February. I hate it.

Perhaps next year I should explore the option of inducing a 28-day coma. It's that bad.

Seasonal depression has hit me hard this year. I'm trying to correct the damage with light therapy and taking short walks during the day so I can get myself out of the office.

Surprisingly, this episode has not effected my current eating habits. I'm not overeating like I typically do when I'm depressed. Nor am I so out of it that I can't summon the strength to prepare food for myself, which is, oddly enough, another hazard. I think my body has grown so accustomed to the reduced caloric intake that to make any change any higher or lower makes me ill. And since I've more or less broken my sugar habit, the foods I would normally gravitate to in times like these (strarchy, sugary junk) seem utterly unappealing. Indeed, I now find myself more sensitive to sugary-tasting foods. With the exception of the two Hershey kisses I have in the afternoon (thank you, Alayna) I just can't tolerate candy anymore.

Day 32, Phase 2:Catching Up

So I've been a bit grouchy the past two weeks. Blame it on hormones. Blame it on the weather. Call it "Winter-blahs-meets-raging-PMS."

With the exception of a few days last week, including Super Bowl Sunday, I've been pretty much on-track. My weight seems to be holding steady at 159. And in order to gear up for Spring fitness, I think I'm going to start a Hatha Yoga class next Thursday. I'm still attached to the idea that I will start biking to work when the weather gets better, and I need to build up my stamina. Until then, I'm going to clip on the pedometer and do as much walking as possible.

I guess this desire for activity has to do with the realization that there are things I want to do in my life that are just harder if I'm big. Rock climbing for one. Jane and I took a class last fall so we could do it with the kids. It was a challenge to move all my weight against gravity, not to mention my growing concern about people looking up at my giant ass.

Then I took Sophie sledding on a very big hill a few weeks back. I loved going down, but it was a long haul back up. Gaybor Grace came along with her snowboard, which I tried on the teeniest of hills. Once again I was confronted with how hard it is to move my weight around, and how much energy I lacked to do so.

I don't expect to lose any more weight until I start an exercise regime. In the meantime, I am content to keep the diet on track.